The New Darwin Awards Report:
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 June 1997-- A driver, who crashed into the side of a 3000 ton wheat train and was dragged in his car more than a kilometre before being slammed into a pylon at the edge of a cliff, fell to his death as he walked for help.

 The Queensland, Australia man, 63, and his female companion, 64, were driving along the Newell Highway near Moree, in Northwestern New South Wales, on Wednesday night, police said.

 Their car crashed into the side of a fully laden, 600 metre long train at a level crossing.  (I guess that would be harder to miss than the side of a barn!) The vehicle became wedged between the second last and last carriages and was dragged sideways beside the track as the train continued towards Moree, a police spokeswoman said.

 After being carried more than a kilometre and a half they approached an unfenced bridge with a 10 metre drop, the spokeswoman said.  Moments before they reached the precipice, the car was struck by a pylon, dislodged from the train and spun several times. When it came to rest, the pair managed to free themselves from the wreck (I wonder if it was a Volvo?) with minor bruising and the man set off along the railway line for help.  But he slipped on the bridge and fell to his death, the spokeswoman said.

 The woman was eventually able to raise the alarm and was recovering in Moree hospital with chest injuries.
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 Miami, FL motorist Alvin Sims didn't notice that his truck had smacked into a utility pole and his passenger was dead until the police stopped his car.

 Donna Richardson, 29, was hanging her head out of the window of her boy friends 1993 Chevrolet truck early Saturday - she was vomiting - when the truck suddenly veered. Her head slammed a pole and she died instantly, police said Monday. Sims, 36. kept driving.

 Metro-Dade police said when an officer stopped the truck several miles later - its right mirror and antenna were damaged.  Sims told police that he was looking for a hospital because his passenger was sick.

 "Apparently, he thought he hit a puddle and did not see that he had killed her."
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 On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by his lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid  choice:

   1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop;
   2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places;
  3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County Police patrol car parked at the front door;
   4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.

 Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots.

 The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool.

 Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
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 Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol to Ken's head instead of a revolver.
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 MOSCOW, RUSSIA -A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof vest to see if it protected him against the knife.....
 It didn't and the 25-year-old guard died of a heart wound.  Isn't it good to see the Russians getting into the spirit of the awards?
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 Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide.
He:
 1 stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. 
 2 tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. 
 3 drank some poison 
 4 set fire to his clothes. 
 5 and even tried to shoot himself at the last moment.

 He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to hospital, where he died ... of exposure!!!