What Your Car Says About You
-
Acura Integra
- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
-
Acura Legend
- I'm too bland for German cars
-
Acura NSX
- I am impotent
-
Audi 90
- I enjoy putting out engine fires
-
Buick Park Avenue
- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
-
Cadillac Eldorado
- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
-
Cadillac Seville
- I am a pimp
-
Chevrolet Camaro
- I enjoy beating the hell out of people
-
Chevrolet Cavalier
- I am a sex machine
-
Chevrolet Chevette
- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them
I have a 'Vette
-
Chevrolet Corvette
- I'm in a mid-life crisis
-
Chevrolet El Camino
- I am leading a militia to overthrow the
government
-
Chrysler Cordoba
- I dig the rich Corinthian leather
-
Datsun 280Z
- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
-
Dodge Dart
- I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower
-
Dodge Daytona
- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
-
Ferrari Testarossa
- I am known to prematurely ejaculate
-
Ford Fairmont
- (See Dodge Dart)
-
Ford Mustang
- I slow down to 85 in school zones
-
Ford Crown Victoria
- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them
-
Geo Storm
- I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
-
Geo Tracker
- I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
-
Honda del Sol
- I have always said, half a convertible is better than
no convertible at all
-
Honda Civic
- I have just graduated and have no credit
-
Honda Accord
- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
-
Infiniti Q45
- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
-
Isuzu Impulse
- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
-
Jaguar XJ6
- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop
280 days per year.
-
Kia Sephia
- I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
-
Lamborghini Countach
- I only have one testicle
-
Lincoln Town Car
- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
-
Mercedes 500SL
- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
-
Mercedes 560SEL
- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
-
Mazda Miata
- I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
-
MGB
- I am dating a mechanic
-
Mitsubishi Diamante
- I don't know what it means either
-
Nissan 300ZX
- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
-
Oldsmobile Cutlass
- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts
-
Peugeot 505 Diesel
- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
-
Plymouth Neon
- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
-
Pontiac Trans AM
- I have a switchblade in my sock
-
Porsche 911 Turbo
- I have a three inch thingy
-
Porsche 944
- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me
-
Rolls Royce
- I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit tool
iberal
-
Saturn SC2
- (See Honda Civic)
-
Subaru Legacy
- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior
than Isuzu
-
Toyota Camry
- I am still in the closet
-
Volkswagen Cabriolet
- I am out of the closet
-
Volkswagen Beetle
- I still watch Partridge Family reruns
-
Volvo 740 Wagon
- I am frightened of my wife
Submitted By: Doug Sunshine
May 21, 1997 21:03