Career Advice

I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a fireman, or a system administrator?
This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were just made to answer:
  • PURPOSE OF YOUR CAREER
    Astronaut:Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
    Fireman:Saving lives and property.
    Sysadmin:Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.
  • ADVICE YOU'LL GIVE KIDS WHO WANT TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS
    Astronaut:"Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
    Fireman:"Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
    Sysadmin:"DON'T DO IT! RUN AWAY!"
  • QUESTION YOU'LL BE MOST TIRED OF ANSWERING
    Astronaut:"Where do you go to the bathroom?"
    Fireman:"Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
    Sysadmin:"Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?"
  • WILL YOU EVER BE ON TV?
    Astronaut:Yes!
    Fireman:Occasionally.
    Sysadmin:Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as TV.
  • WILL YOUR JOB EVER GET ANY EASIER?
    Astronaut:As computers get more and more advanced and able to control more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
    Fireman:As more and more people install smoke detectors in their homes, yes.
    Sysadmin:As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet, absolutely not.
  • INSPIRING MOVIE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
    Astronaut:"The Right Stuff"
    Fireman:"Backdraft"
    Sysadmin:Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?
  • YOUR WORK HOURS
    Astronaut:Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of time between missions to relax.
    Fireman:24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
    Sysadmin:Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like "work millenia."
  • FRINGE BENEFITS OF YOUR JOB
    Astronaut:Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
    Fireman:Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
    Sysadmin:You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."
  • NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
    Astronaut:A few, from people who think the government should be spending its money in different ways.
    Fireman:A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive following a 911 call.
    Sysadmin:You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be able to count them all.
  • YOUR VEHICLE
    Astronaut:Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar rocket.
    Fireman:Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
    Sysadmin:1978 AMC Gremlin.
In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.



Submitted By: humor-tgh
Sep 15, 1998 17:06

This joke is rated: G