Church Football
- Quarterback Sneak
- Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
- Draw Play
- What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
- Halftime
- The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
- Benchwarmer
- Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
- Backfield-in-Motion
- Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
- Staying in the Pocket
- What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
- Two-minute Warning
- The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
- Instant Replay
- The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
- Sudden Death
- What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
- Trap
- You're called on to pray and are asleep.
- End Run
- Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
- Flex Defense
- The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
- Halfback Option
- The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
- Blitz
- The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Sep 16, 1999 12:59