Corporate Lingo
- COMPETITIVE SALARY
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We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
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JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY
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We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself to
your co-workers.
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SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE
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....who still live with their parents and won't mind our
internship-level salaries.
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CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE
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We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of
the real daring guys wear ear rings.
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JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM
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We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
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MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED
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You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
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SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED
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Some time each night and some time each weekend.
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DUTIES WILL VARY
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Anyone in the office can boss you around.
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MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL
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We have no quality control.
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COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED
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Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like
philosophy or English.
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NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE
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We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
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SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE
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You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
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PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST
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You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
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REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS
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You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or espect.
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GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
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Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and then do it.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Dec 2, 1997 07:11