Crooks Are Stupid

This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and
 demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier
 put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he
 wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to
 put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said " Because I
 don't believe you are over 21."  The robber said he was, but the
 clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe
 him.  At this point the robber took his drivers license out of
 his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over,
 and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch
 in the bag.  The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
 The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
 address of the robber that he got off of the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later.

  -true story.


 Another Darwin Contender

 Under the category: "Too Stupid," a true story out of San
 Francisco.  It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of
 America, walked into the branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put
 all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
 give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had
 seen him write the note and might call the police before he
 reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and
 crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in
 line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
 and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the
 brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
 his stick up note because it was written on a Bank of America
 deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
 Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.  Looking
 somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left the Wells Fargo.
 The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the
 man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the
 Bank of America.

1. Detective of Georgia's Police Department told reporters about a robbery suspect he transportaed back to the crime scene for a positive identification. They had gotten a call informing them that a woman had her purse stolen from a shopping mall. A short while later the police saw a man who fit the description given by the victim. They picked him up and took him back to the scene of the crime. The officer started to explain to the suspect that they were going to take him back and that he was to exit the vehicle and face the victim for a positive identification. When they arrived, the suspect did exactly as he had been told. He stepped from the car, looked at the victim, and before anyone could say anything, he blurted out "Yeah, that's her.... that's the woman I robbed."
2. Woman in Oregon was checking out the winning numbers posted at the cash register. She was close but not quite... The ticket she had just bought was only one digit away from the $20 winning number. For once in her life, she wanted to be a winner instead of a near-miss. She struggled with her greed before finally giving in. Creeping around behind the shelves, she altered her lottery ticket with a ball point pen to win the $20, then returned to the counter to collect her prize.

   She should have worked a little harder on her forgery, because the clerk spotted it immediately and called the police. The dishonest lottery player was arrested on the spot and charged with fraud. The arresting officer made an intersting discovery. He found the real number under her bad forgery and that made her feel even dumber. Had she looked farther up the chart of winning numbers, she would have discovered that the original ticket number had also been a winner - - for $5000.

3. It's an age-old story of love, lust and automobiles with a new twist brought on by the current Age of Litigation.

   A young couple were romatically involved in a car parked along their town's notorious Lover's Lane. They were in the throes of passion when another car pulled in slowly in front of them. The driver considerately turned off his lights, but then when he backed up, bumped into the lovers' car. The couple sued the other motorist's insurance company for child support. The lovers claimed the fender bender outside the car caused another little accident inside the car. The bump from the untimely collision allegedly caused them both to momentarily "lose control" and the result was an accidental pregnancy. The one and only case (so far) of a fender bender resulting in a "love child."