Dilbert Rules Of Work
- If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
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Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
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It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done
and what you're going to do.
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After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month
than you did before.
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The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
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You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
clipboard.
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Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
happen to you the rest of the day.
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When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
talking about themselves.
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If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn
fool about it.
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There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the
boss asks for a ride home from the office.
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Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
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Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
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Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a c---tail hour.
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To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is
supposed to be doing.
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Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the
mail.
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If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really
good,
you will get out of it.
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You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by you
desk.
Submitted By: Ed Chidester
1/8/97