A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and a beautiful naked woman is placed on a bed at the other end of the room.

The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every five minutes, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the woman on the bed."
The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the bed!" And he gets up and storms out.

The psychologist makes a note on his clipboard and ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach her?"
The physicist smiles and replied, "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!"

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Math and Alcohol don't mix, so...
PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE

Then there's every parent's scream when their child walks into the room dazed and staggering:
OH NO...YOU'VE BEEN TAKING DERIVATIVES!!