Top 15 Reasons For Being Fired From Toys R Us
- A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector
set, if you know what I mean.
- Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your
head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."
- You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled
Lego bricks.
- Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The
Stockboy" display.
- You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding
the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
- Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids
they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
- The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not
selling.
- Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically
correct.
- Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs
again.
- Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey
the Giraffe.
- Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after
you jackknifed a Big Wheel.
- Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was
"homemade Gack."
- Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-
Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming
success.
- Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the
Giraffe in a leather bar.
- Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid --
I R on break."
Submitted By: Robert Klugiewicz
May 19, 1997 14:52