You know you grew up in an Italian family when....
- You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
- You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich".
- Your family dog understood Italian.
- Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
- You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
- You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
- You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.
- You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
- You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday night.
- You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
- You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.
- You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
- You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
- You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.
- You ate your salad after the main course.
- You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
- Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon
- You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
- You learned to play bocce before you went to school.
- You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
- You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.
- You grew up calling the bathroom the baccausa. And you only had one.
- You were surprised to learn most kitchen utensils had another name which didn't end in a vowel.
- All of your uncles fought in a World War.
- You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frankie or Louie.
- You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
- You have relatives you don't speak to.
- You drank wine before you were a teenager.
- You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos.
- You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch
of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
- Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait..... You were sitting on plastic.
- You thought that talking loud was normal.
- You thought cookie cakes and the Tarantella were common at all weddings.
- You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
- Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
- Every lunch meat you ate ended in a vowel.
- There was a crucifix in every room of the house, including the cellar.
- There was a saint in a bathtub in the yard.
- Boys didn't do house work because it was women's work.
- You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father
- You know what lemon ice is.
- Your Christmas tree was silver.
- You called pasta macaroni.
- You have at least one irrational fear or phobia which can be attributed to your mother.