A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a good-looking woman and starts looking at his watch. The woman notices this and asks him if his date is late. "No," he replies. "I've just got this new state-of-the-art watch and I was just about to test it."
"What does it do?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing a bra or panties."
"Ha! Well it must be broken then, because I am!"
"Darn thing must be an hour fast."