WASHINGTON, D.C. - Smokey Homme

Conspiracy theorists in the Republican party have long speculated that Ross Perot's Presidential aspirations were nothing more than (successful) attempts to siphon votes away from the Republican party, allowing the Democratic candidate to win. Readers will remember that Bill Clinton was elected to his second term with less than a majority.

This amazing photo was taken by surveillance cameras in the Bridal Suite of the Alexandria, Virginia Hotel 6. The conspiracy theorists will now have to be taken a little more seriously.

Republican National Committee heavyweights, who wish to remain anonymous, said "This'll go over really well on the cover of Reader's Digest, won't it?" The told us that "We'll play this in every 15-minute segment of every wrestling program on cable TV. That ought to just about wrap up the Democratic aspirations for staying in the White House beyond January, 2000." In the photo, President Clinton, seen with his now trademark cigar, demonstrates that he is no gentleman. His girlfriend, Ross, has an empty glass."