In a well received public relations move President Bill Clinton showed up for volunteer work at a local senior citizens retirement home. Three were killed and several injured as the mass of television crew technicians trampled the old folks with their cameras and sound equipment.

Clinton spoke of his admiration for King, the civil rights icon. He told the audience that "I respect his staying power. I wish I had staying power like that." Clinton said that mainly he was envious of King's ability to keep people focused on the issues.

"No one cared that he was banging all the babes. They stayed focused on his message," said Clinton. "Hell, I bang a couple of interns and low level civil servants and everyone gets their panties in a wad. Martin Luther King, Jr. spent his last night on Earth shacked up with 3 hookers, floggin' one of them and there's not 12 people alive that give a damn. I'm on TV 22 hours a day with that damn footage of Monica hugging me. Excuse me, I've got babes to nail. I mean, I've got to hammer some nails."