Republican Representatives unveiled their new proposal for a memorial to President Bill Clinton. "It's only fitting," said outgoing House Speaker Newt Gingrich, R-Georgia. "We think it captures the true flavor, so to speak, of the Clinton administration."

"We're trying to find a fitting place for the monument," said House Judiciary Committee Chairman Henry Hyde. "Most of the good places are taken with all the museums and memorials we've had to throw up lately to shut up the special interest groups. We're thinking about knocking down a few building over around 14th and K streets."

For those of you who do not frequent the capital's seemier side, the intersection of 14th and K streets is a popular hangout for prostitutes.

"We dare say that quite a few of the ladies of the night would feel right at home with old Bill's likeness down there," said Hyde. "I suspect he's paid for quite a few of them to get new cars."

"It'd be a lot more realistic if they showed him with a cigar," said Gingrich. "But, I guess this will have to do. We couldn't get the Democrats to go along with the cigar idea."