WASHINGTON, D.C. - Connie Chang
"They've learned their lesson" said Vice President AlGore, explaining why President Clinton halted the attacks on Iraq 1 hour after the House of Representative voted for impeachment of the president. "Besides that," he added, "It's the holy Mooselips season of Rouladen, errr, roulette, uhhh, something like that."
In the Saturday afternoon press conference, Gore used the phrase "weapons of mass destruction" 238 times.
"We had to do it," he explained. "That Saddam Hussein is an enemy of the flora and fauna and you know this administration loves all creatures. So, we had to wipe his scum sucking ass off the face of the planet." When Gore was asked by CNN reporter Charles Bierbaurer if this sort of thing wasn't what you get when you dabble in the affairs of other countries, the Vice President appeared confused. "Well, what I mean dips---, is that we put Hussein in power to begin with and now we're over there trying to bump him off. Wouldn't we be better off if we just stayed home and improved America," asked Bierbauer.
Gore said "I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about flora, fauna and how weapons of mass destruction are bad for them. I love flowers, did I tell you all that? I'm a real folksy guy. Really I am. I'm going to buy a Volkswagen as soon as I leave Washington."