Signs That The New Baby Has Arrived
- Hubby drops to #2 on the list of people drooling at the sight
of your breasts.
- Store clerks don't look at you so funny when you buy your
regular weekly supply of diapers.
- Finally, someone you can beat at "Got Your Nose," at least
for a year or so.
- You develop a liking for minivans, sensible shoes, and a
deep-seated contempt for Michael Jackson.
- You're not so tolerant of strangers asking to touch your
round little belly anymore now that you're just FAT.
- Goodbye, Happy Hour -- Hello, Happy Meal!
- Can't leave the AK-47s under the couch anymore.
- No longer get arrested for whipping out your breast on the
subway.
- The realization that caca comes in a rainbow of lovely colors.
- Well, there goes the pet dingo.
- Cases of Bud Light quickly replaced by cases of Butt Wipes.
- Bundle of joy, my ass. Just another ingrate to buy cigarettes
for.
- Junior looks adorable in his little "sandbox", but the cat is
seriously torqued about it.
- Mama cuts back to a sixer a day now that she's only "drinkin' fer one."
- For efficiency, your paycheck now direct-deposited to Disney.
- The closest you come to orgasm is when you think of sleep.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Mar 1, 1998 11:16