An Irish bloke, fresh from winning a local rugby match, has a few pints with his mates at the pitch and then takes his best gal out to the pub. Well, after a few rounds he gets thoroughly pissed and passes out in the corner.

When he wakes up just before closing time he looks down at his hand, sees his car keys and starts screaming, "Help, my car has been stolen, my car has been stolen." A nearby constable comes to his aid and asks where he last saw the vehicle. "Well," replied the Irishman, "the last time I saw it, it was connected to this wee key here!"

Realizing he is dealing with a drunk, the constable pauses a moment to size him up and finally leans forward and whispers in the man's ear, "You know you're exposing yourself don't you." The man quickly looks down and cries out, "Oh dear God, now they've taken my woman!"