Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig.

One day, this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down!!" So, he did.

So, the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said "Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!!" So the stick pig let the straw pig in.

Then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down!!" And he did!!

So, the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig's house and said, "Let us in!! The wolf just blew down our houses and we're scared!!!" So the brick pig let them in.

The wolf caught up with them and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down!!" While he was huffing and puffing, the straw pig and the stick pig were soooooooo scared!!!! But the brick pig picked up the phone and called a friend.

A few minutes passed and all of a sudden this big, black stretch limo drove up. Out came two massive pigs in pin-striped suits and fedoras. These huge pigs came over to the wolf and grabbed him by the neck and proceeded to beat the crap out of him. One of them pulled out a gun and fired at the wolf!! Then they left the wolf for dead, got back into their limo and drove off.

The straw pig and the stick pig were amazed!!!! They asked the brick pig, "Who the hell were those guys?!?"

And the brick pig said, "Oh, those are my cousins . . . the Guinea Pigs!!"