Things I Wish My Mom Would Say

  • "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
  • "Go ahead and keep that cute little stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed, walk and clean up after him every day"
  • "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
  • "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
  • "Just leave all the lights on -- It makes the house look more cheery"
  • "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me."
  • "What time did you want to stop by for dinner? -- It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
  • "I don't have a kleenex with me -- Just use your sleeve"
  • "Don't bother wearing a jacket -- The wind-chill is bound to improve"
  • "Sure, stay out as late as you want -- And, here, take these condoms with you, just in case you get lucky!"

Submitted By: John Krafchek
Aug 5, 1999 08:23

This joke is rated: PG