Things You'll Never Hear From A Consultant

  1. You're right; we're billing way too much for this.
  2. Bet you I can go a week without saying "synergy" or "value-added".
  3. How about paying us based on the success of the project?
  4. This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read.
  5. Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do.
  6. I don't know enough to speak intelligently about that.
  7. Implementation? I only care about writing long reports.
  8. I can't take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department.
  9. The problem is, you have too much work for too few people.
  10. Everything looks okay to me. You really don't need me.



Submitted By: Anonymous
Aug 17, 1998 12:36

This joke is rated: G