How To Tell If You're Too Stressed
  1. You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.
  2. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...
  3. You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
  4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
  5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
  6. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
  7. Things becomes "Very Clear."
  8. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...
  9. You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
  10. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
  11. Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
  12. You and Reality file for divorce.
  13. You can skip without a rope.
  14. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
  15. You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
  16. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...
  17. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
  18. You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
  19. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...
  20. Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.
  21. You listen to your relaxation tapes on high speed.
  22. You call your voicemail from your car using your cell-phone while driving to work to remind yourself of tasks to do during the day.
  23. You page yourself because when its set to vibrate, its "almost" like getting a massage.
  24. Your e-mail notification tune is Taps.
  25. You tap your foot impatiently at the amount of time your microwave popcorn takes.
  26. You call the Time & Weather because that lady "really understands you."
  27. You take the "Don't Walk" sign personally.
  28. You get lost on your way home....from the driveway.
  29. Your pager is set to stun.
  30. Your In-Box now has its own office.

Submitted By: C. Antrim
Oct 9, 1997 18:20

This joke is rated: PG