The Top 14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working Out
- You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.
- You: Large, hairy man.
Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.
- Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."
- After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a +5 Vorpal Sword when she learns you're worth 45,000 points.
- "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again."
- Your cyberlover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.
- Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.
- You discover that she has been cutting & pasting her orgasms.
- You can barely make out your SO's face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.
- He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.
- Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com has become cold and distant.
- She's suddenly changed her address to comingout@lesbian.com
- Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious "tubby@whitehouse.gov"
- In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.
Submitted By: Just 4 Laughs Humor List
Jul 20, 1998 07:57