USAF Aircraft Problems
These are alledged to be some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:
- Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
- Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
- Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
- Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
- Problem: "Something loose in c---pit."
Solution: "Something tightened in c---pit."
- Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
- Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
- Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
- Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
- Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF always inoperative in OFF mode."
- Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."
- Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
Submitted By: Best of: Humor Mailing List
Oct 23, 1998 11:45