Viruses
- O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS:
You know it trashed your system, but you just can't prove it.
- LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS:
Turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.
- BILL CLINTON VIRUS:
Does whatever the other viruses are doing.
- BOB DOLE VIRUS:
Tries to act virulent.
- NEWT GINGRICH VIRUS:
Only trying to optimize the system, honest.
- ROSS PEROT VIRUS:
Small, powerful and very badly wants to run the whole computer.
- DAN QUAYLE VIRUS:
Just another virus.
- COLIN POWELL VIRUS:
Used to be an application. Now refuses to do anything.
- GORBACHEV VIRUS:
Breaks up your computer system into its individual components.
- JIMMY CARTER VIRUS:
Now completely harmless.
- WOODY ALLEN VIRUS:
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
- TONYA HARDING VIRUS:
Turns your .bat files into lethal weapons.
- PAUL REVERE VIRUS:
Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:/.
- GALLUP VIRUS:
Infects a tiny piece of your computer, but believes its results are equivalent to infecting your entire computer.
- CIGARETTE LOBBY VIRUS:
Can prove to you that it's completely harmless.
- PEPSI VIRUS:
Not quite as good as that other virus.
- MARLON BRANDO VIRUS:
Has had little success in multiplying, but keeps getting
bigger and bigger.
- ADAM AND EVE VIRUS:
Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple.
- CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS:
Only does anything while you're watching it on the monitor.
- AIRLINE VIRUS:
You're in Seattle, but your data is in Singapore.
- THE MEDIA VIRUS:
Does nothing but pick on the other viruses.
- BILL GATES VIRUS:
Probably wrote all the other viruses, to suit its own needs.
- GERALD FORD VIRUS:
A totally lovable virus that keeps bumping its head.
- JOHN F. KENNEDY VIRUS:
Was wiped out by the system. I just know it.
- PBS VIRUS:
Best quality virus, but no one pays any attention to it.
- CIA VIRUS:
Doesn't exist. Whoops, it does? Now its the NSA virus.Hmmmm, you
found the NSA virus? Suddenly it's the (name withheld) virus.
- POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS:
Not a virus; an electronic micro-organism that has every right to exist.
- OLLIE NORTH VIRUS:
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.
- JOEY BUTTAFUACO VIRUS:
Only attacks minor files.
- MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS:
Preys on child processes.
- JANE FONDA VIRUS:
Attacks your hard drives FAT.
- OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:
First it's a big file, then a small file, then a big file, ...
- IRS VIRUS:
Impounds your computer before you can finish.
Submitted By: Anonymous
Jan 20, 1998 19:33