It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.

Other features:
Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = aww shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff 'at does stuff
documents = stuff I done done

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copyof the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.