How To Answer The Phone
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Sound like an operator and make a tape saying:
"I'm sorry, the number that has dialed you is not in service. Will
you please hang up and let it dial again... I'm sorry, the..."
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"Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?"
- My solution is upon realizing that I'm talking with a "telemarketing
representative", I ask: "Are you a telemarketer?" The answer
(suprisingly) is usually yes. I then go into a sales pitch to
sell a (nonexistant) telephone ear-cusion.
I insist that every telemarketer must have one for safety and comfort.
Eventually, they'll forget to try selling me anything.
- A recent posting by Duke McMullan requested ways to repel telephone
solicitors. My friend Pepe Tres from Texas told me this one and gave
permission to post it:
"My time is billed at $125 per hour. To continue this
conversation, I must have your MasterCard or Visa number, card
type and date of expiration."
Pepe says it usually leaves them speechless. One guy replied, "Hey,
that's good; I'll have to remember it." Once a supervisor of
telephone solicitors called back and asked him if he was "some kind of
high-powered lawyer."
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Everybody gets and dials wrong numbers. It's good to be nice about it. What
goes around comes around, right? so, I try to reassure the apologetic and
embarrassed wrong dialers that will actually converse once the error is
discovered, with it going something like this:
caller w. wrong number: "Gee, I'm sorry..."
me: "That's OK, I was going to pick up the phone anyway.."
- How about the 'Fraudian Slip Answer'? Like this:
here. What can I do to-----I MEAN-----FOR you?
- Try the following next time the phone rings:
You (when you answer): Hello, is Jimmy there?
Caller: No, I'm afraid you have a wrong number.
You: Oh. Sorry.
Caller: No problem... (click)