A man walks into a bar and sits down. After ordering a beer, he says to the bartender, "How'd you like to make some money? I'll bet you fifty bucks I can bite my eye." The bartender figures no one can bite his eye, so he says, "OK, you're on." The man takes out his glass left eye, puts it in his mouth, and bites it, then pops it back in the socket.

The bartender can't believe he fell for it, but he pays the man and goes about his business. A few minutes later, the man at the bar says to the bartender, "How'd you like to make that money back? Double or nothing I can bite my other eye." The bartender watched the man walk in without a cane or guide dog, so he figures they guy can't have two glass eyes. "OK, I'd like to see you do it," he says. The man takes out his false teeth, puts them up to his right eye and closes them on the eye, then puts them back in his mouth.

The bartender is really grumbling now, since he's out $100. About an hour later, the man at the bar speaks up again. "How'd you like to make your money back, bartender?" By this time the bartender's wary for tricks, so he says, "What's your game?" And the man says, "I'll bet you double or nothing that if you put a shot glass on the other end of the bar, I'll stand on this end and piss into that shot glass without missing or spilling a drop." The bartender knows that the guy has had a dozen beers, and he hasn't seen him go to the bathroom once in all that time. He figures that the guy must have a full bladder and be really drunk; thus he probably couldn't even piss into a urinal at point-blank range, much less a shot glass twenty feet away.

"OK, go ahead!" says the bartender.

The guy gets up on the bar as the bartender sets a shot glass at the far end. He unzips his fly and starts to piss - all over the place! It's on the floor, the stools, all over the bar, but not a drop in the shot glass.

The bar's a mess, but the bartender is happy because he's won the bet and is getting his money back. So he is smiling, whistling, and laughing as he cleans up the bar, wiping it happily starting at the end where the shot glass was. As he gets down to the end where the bettor is waiting with his money, the bartender notices that the guy is also smiling very broadly. "I can't understand why you're smiling," says the bartender. "After all, I just got all that money back from you, so I'm happy, but you have to part with it, so what are you so happy about?"

The man at the bar says, "See those three guys crying at the corner table?" The bartender looks and sees just that. "I just bet them $500 I could piss all over your bar and make you wipe it up with a smile on your face!"