Dating Dictionary

ATTRACTION
the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE
the delusion that one woman somehow differs from another.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
what occurs when two extremely horny -- but not entirely choosy -- people meet.

DATING
the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL
avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing, special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY
a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT
a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND
a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE
a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING
a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT
what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY
how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC
a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER
a condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love



Submitted By: Dan Bernal
11/15/96

This joke is rated: PG