Why Dogs Are Better Than Wives
  • Dogs don't cry.
  • Dogs love it when your friends come over.
  • Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
  • Dogs think you sing great.
  • A dog's time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink.
  • Dogs don't expect you to call them when you're running late.
  • The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
  • Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
  • Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dogs name.
  • Dogs are excited by rough play.
  • Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
  • Dogs understand that farts are funny.
  • Dogs can appreciate excess body hair.
  • Anyone can get a good looking dog.
  • If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
  • Dogs don't shop.
  • Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
  • A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
  • Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
  • A dog's parents never come to visit.
  • Dogs love long car trips.
  • Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
  • When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
  • Dogs like beer.
  • Dogs don't hate their bodies.
  • No dog ever bought a Kenny G. album.
  • No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood.
  • Dogs never criticize.
  • Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  • Dogs never expect gifts.
  • Its legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
  • Dogs don't worry about germs.
  • Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you have ever had.
  • Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to your wallet, desk, or sock drawer.
  • Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their life.
  • Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger than a lobster dinner.
  • You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready 24 hours a day.
  • Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
  • Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
  • Dogs never want a foot rub.
  • Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
  • Dogs find it amusing when you are drunk.
  • Dogs cant talk.
  • Dogs aren't catty.
  • Dogs seldom outlive you.

Submitted By: Joe Watson
Mar 21, 1997 11:22

This joke is rated: PG