WHERE YOU ARE ON THE PLAYING FEILD (if your not on the feild, get on)| your 10 yard line | holding hands
| | your 20 yard line | hugging
|
| your 30 yard line | kiss on the cheek
|
| your 40 yard line | kiss on the lips
|
| MIDFEILD | toungue kissing(your in serious territory)
|
| his/her 40 yard line | shirt and bra off
|
| his/her 30 yard line | all clothes off
|
| his/her 20 yard line | ORAL SEX (getting or giving)
|
| 1ST AND GOAL | put on the condom
|
| GOAL LINE | TOUCHDOWN (SEXUAL INTERCOURSE)
|
Now that you know where you are on the field, here are some important definitions to help you explain how you got there.
- kickoff
- making the first move (asking for a date)
- kicking it deep
- Asking out a virgin (you'll be starting out deep
in your own end)
- on-side kick
- Asking out a slut (starting near midfeild, On
side kicks are good if they work but are risky)
- kick return
- How far you get on the first date
Now that you've asked her out and went on the first date, the kickoff is over and the relationship begins.
-
Downs
- An attempt to get more yards(get further with her,
Here in Canada you get two downs and then you best kick ie. ask out a new girl cause you ain't getting further with this one. Americans are more patient, they get three downs before they should kick again.
-
Running the Ball
- Taking it one yard at a time.
-
Passing Play
- Skipping stages
-
Fumble
- Impotence
-
Fumble Recovery
- Regain erection
-
Interception
- Homosexuality (YOUR GOING THE OTHER WAY!!)
-
Turnover
- Anal sex
-
Feild Goal
- One of you orgasm, 3pts (Feild goal range begins
around their 30, when the clothes are off!)
-
Touchdown
- Mutual orgasm, 6pts
-
Extra Point
- The smoke afterwards
-
Two Point Conversion
- Smoke and a Phone number
-
High Scoring Game
- Multiple Orgasms
-
Rain Delay
- Parents/Roommate comes home
-
Pile Up
- ORGY
-
Missed Feild Goal
- Wide right,Wide left or even worse, to short!
-
3RD down and inches
- Call for a measurement (Move those Yardsticks)
The Offense
-
Quarterback
- The most important position, the missionary
-
Quarterback Sneak
- Unusual positions
-
Center(HUPPER)
- Doggie Style
-
Running Back
- A hand-off
-
Tight End
- Self Explanatory
-
Wide Receiver
- Opposite of Tight End
-
Nose Tackle
- (Use Your Imagination)
DEFENCE (Becoming more and more important these days)
-
Defensive Line
- Condom
-
Break in the defence
- Condom breaks
-
The Safety
- The Pill (just to be safe)
-
A Blitz
- A "Quickie"
Penalties
-
Roughing
- S & M
-
Holding
- Handcuffs or Restraints
-
Offside
- Premature Ejaculation
The Bowls
-
Rose Bowl
- Romantic sex (MAKING LOVE)
-
Citrus Bowl
- Healthy or Safe Sex
-
Peach Bowl
- Juicy/Wet Sex
-
Fiesta Bowl
- Sex in South America
-
Superbowl
- Marriage (The Big Dance)
So now that you know the field and all the definitions you can see how to use them.
- There was an on-side kick to what I thought was a wide receiver but
it turned out to be a tight end so there was a turnover.
- Their was a deep kickoff with no return. I ran the ball to mid-feild but
then decided to go to the passing game. The passing play didn't work
because of a fumble. On the next down a running back took it to their 10
yard line. With 1ST and goal, the action moved from the Hupper to the
Quarterback who did a Quarter back sneak. The game turned out to be the
highest scoring Fiesta Bowl ever!!!
- I was Roughed in the massive pileup.
- It was third down and inches on the 20 Yard line but on the feild goal
attempt I was short.