Pinocchio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consumating their passions.

"Every time we make love", she said "I get splinters". So he went back to his maker, Gipetto, the carpenter, to ask his advice.
"Sandpaper my boy, that's what you need" was the carpenter's response. A couple of weeks later the carpenter met Pinocchio, "How are you getting on with the girls now?" he asked.

"Who needs girls?" replied Pinocchio.