| Freshmen | Seniors | Are never in bed past noon. | Are never out of bed before noon. |
|---|---|
| Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut. | Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend. |
| Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. | Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a recitation class. |
| Calls the professor "Professor." | Calls the professor "Bob." |
| Would walk ten miles to get to class. | Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away. |
| Memorizes the course material to get a good grade. | Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade. |
| Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university. | Knows where the next class is. Maybe... |
| Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed. | Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand. |
| Have to ask where the computer labs are. | Has 'own' personal workstation. |
| Use the campus buses to go everywhere. | Use the campus buses to run block while crossing the street. |
| Worry about the last freshman composition essay. | Worry about the last GRE essay. |
| Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week. | Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe. |
| Looks forward to first classes of the year | Looks forward to first beer garden of the year |
| Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm | Is proud of not _quite_ failing his Complex Analysis midterm |
| Calls his girlfriend back home every other night | Calls Domino's every other night |
| Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs | Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer |
| Conscienciously completes all homework, including optional questions | Offers to 'tutor' conscientious fresh of opposite sex... |
| Goes on grocery shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus | Has a beer with Mom before moving onto campus |
| Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society | Is excited about new dryers in laundry room |
| Takes meticulous four-color notes in class | Occasionally stays awake for all of class |
Submitted By: Anonymous