Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig.

One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!

So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said, "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house."
So the stick Pig let the straw pig in.
Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down."
And he did!

So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig's house and said, "Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down!"
So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up.
The wolf said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down."
The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.

A few minutes passed and a big, black Caddy pulls up.

Out step two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats. These pigs come over to the wolf, grab him by the neck and beat the living s--- out of him, then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in his mouth and fired, killing the wolf, then they tied cement blocks around his feet threw his sorry ass into the creek then they got back into their Caddy and drove off.

The straw pig and stick pig were amazed!
"Who the hell were those guys?" they asked.
"Those were my cousins ... the Guinea Pigs"